


Deserving

by Shareece (kimbob)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-02 04:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimbob/pseuds/Shareece
Summary: “Hmm?” he said. “The perilous tale of our fight for survival during the long night war? The knighted warrior maiden and her somewhat golden knight, fighting at each other’s backs; keeping each other warm on the coldest nights.” He continued humming.Brienne could feel her face heat with his words, just as it did when she heard them earlier.  Yes, they did keep each other warm during the coldest nights; even fought at each other’s backs, but Jaime—was not hers.





	1. Chapter 1

The graceful crest and trough of the Sunset Sea’s waves crashed against the cliff’s wall. The scents of salt and sand permeated Brienne’s senses in a way that reminded her of Tarth. She breathed in the familiar scents with a happy sigh. 

“I don’t know why I agree to getting up this early.” Jaime complained, nodding his thanks as she passed him a cup of mulled wine. 

Brienne didn’t respond to his complaints, merely took a sip of her own warm wine and rolled her eyes with affection. She sighed again as she stared at the sky, watching with quiet awe as dawn began to show itself, painting the sky with hues of pink, orange, and purple. “That’s beautiful.” 

Slowly, but surely, the sun began to peak its way up over the horizon; lighting the sky up in an orange blaze. 

“I never thought I would see this again.” Jaime murmured, and Brienne nodded in agreement. Exactly eleven moons have passed since the long night war ended and watching the sun rise had become a ritual of theirs. Something they did to remain grateful for the life they were gifted; something to remind them of those who’ve lost their lives. 

They both let a comfortable silence fall between them, both in their own thoughts as they continued to drink their wine. The silence was a constant between them now. Jaime had always despised the quiet; always felt a need to fill it with his own useless words, but now, since the war, silence had become a balm for his spirit. 

A cool breeze swept up the cliffside, ruffling his hair. For once, the chill in the air had dissipated. Spring was arriving. 

Jaime’s gaze slid toward Brienne, knowing she felt the same from the tears glistening in her eyes. They were well and truly going to live. He reached for her hand and gently squeezed. “My lady, what say you we ride to Lannisport for the day? I’ve a mind to stretch my legs today.” They had barely ventured out of Casterly Rock, both preferring the quiet and closeness it offered them. 

Brienne squeezed his fingers as she nodded. “I’d like that, Ser.” 

Jaime nodded, and let her fingers slip through his own, feeling her touch long after he let her go. 

88

Lannisport, Jaime noted, was swirling with activity for the first time in many months. Vendors of all kinds lined the walkway. Unique handmade jewelry, wood working, leather goods, and other sundry sat on top of their tables. Westermen and Women milled about, groups of children weaved in and out of the crowds, their laughter a wonderful shock to his system. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits and they too probably realized the chill in the air has dissipated and spring was arriving.

Jaime’s gaze moved toward Brienne, who was busy eyeing a leather sword belt while simultaneously looking embarrassed, her face flushed red. The vendor in front of her seemed to be saying something excitedly to her, his hand gesticulating wildly, his expression set with a look of awe. Jaime stepped up beside her. 

“….an absolute honor, my lady! Please, choose what you like. Again, it is an honor. Ser Lady Tarth! A true hero.” 

“Aye.” Jaime agreed as he watched Brienne flush a deeper shade of red. He smiled. “She is a true hero.” His smile widened from the look Brienne shot him. He turned to the vendor. “These are fine leather belts you have here…?” 

The vendor eyed Jaime with wide eyes. “Derron, my lord!” his grin widened as his gaze went from Jaime to Brienne and back again. “The Golden knight! Bright Roar! What an honor.” Jaime shifted uncomfortably, the new ‘Titles’ always serving his discomfort. “My Lord, I just want to thank the two of you for your bravery. You both saved the Westerlands. Please choose what you like at no charge.” 

Brienne shook her head. “No, we can’t. We shall pay.” She was already reaching for the pouch attached to her belt, pausing with a frown as Jaime placed his hand over her own. 

“Let me, my lady.”

Brienne shook her head with a frown. “Ser, I can pay my own—” She trailed off as Jaime handed Derron two gold coins. He shook the young man’s hand and turned to Brienne, his expression soft. 

“It’s the least I can do, my lady,” his tone was soft as he said his next words, “from one Knight to another.” 

The night before the last battle she revealed to Jaime her being knighted by him was one of her proudest moments, and if anyone asked Jaime, he would agree it was his own proudest moment. Jaime watched as Brienne’s cheeks reddened even further. He was staring, he realized, far longer than was appropriate. He cleared his throat and looked away from her, less she sees the trembling want he constantly tried to hide from her. 

“Thank you, Ser.” Brienne said quietly. 

Jaime nodded. “Always, my lady. Let us continue exploring. I wish to show you some of my favorite boyhood places.” 

88

By early evening, they settled in the most popular inn to share a meal and drink some Ale. 

Brienne shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Perhaps we should have had our meal back at Casterly?” 

Jaime took a sip of his ale. “Why? Because there are more than twenty people staring at us?” Jaime was used to these types of stares. “I hope it is something you’ll get used to, my lady. Being a savior and all.” His grin widened as her blush deepened. 

Brienne raised her cup to her lips as she took a healthy sip of ale. “Brightroar?” she teased back. 

Jaime scoffed to hide his embarrassment. “Please.” He said with a wave. “Brightroar was—” 

“I know the story, Jaime.” Brienne cut in with a small smile. “It is an honor to be sharing the table with someone so revered.” Her eyes were teasing yet soft as she said this. 

Jaime chuckled, pausing to respond as their food was placed in front of them, the innkeeper singing their praise as she ordered her husband to refill their cups, this time with wine. 

“Please enjoy, Me lady, Me lord. This is our best wine!” 

Brienne gave her a tight smile. “Thank you.” She dug into her stew.

The Inkeeper nodded eagerly. “Would the lord and lady like some entertainment? My son Gerod is a wonderful musician. Gerod!” She called, clapping her hands. “Play something.” She grinned down at them. “You’ll love his songs. He writes so many about you two.” 

Brienne spluttered, nearly choking on her wine just as Jaime raised an eyebrow. “Songs?” He asked just as Gerod began to play a lively loud tune. He cleared his throat. “Lovely.” He said, but the innkeeper just kept watching them. “This Is lovely, thank you!” Jaime repeated over the music. 

Finally hearing him, the innkeeper nodded. “Yes! Of course! Enjoy!” she hurried off. 

Brienne smiled with amusement as Jaime began to dig into his own meal. “This is pleasant.” She said after a few moments of silence. “Thank you for suggesting this, Ser.” 

Jaime smiled at her. “You’re welcome, Brienne. Do you think they’ll share one of our songs tonight, my lady?” Just as Jaime asked the question, the music began to slow and Gerod began his song.

“This is tale of a golden knight and his warrior maiden.”

Jaime gave Brienne an amused smile as he swallowed down the rest of his wine. “Of course, it is.” He muttered. 

Brienne’s eyes glittered with her own amusement. “You understand this is your fault for asking?”

88

They rode their horses back to Casterly at a slow pace. Brienne chanced a glance over her shoulder when Jaime started to hum one of the tunes from earlier in the night. Brienne rolled her eyes. “Truly, ser?”

Jaime stopped humming. “What? It’s certainly not a bad song. Very….enchanting.” He continued humming again. 

Brienne rolled her eyes again and faced forward. “I don’t know if enchanting is the right word to describe such a song, Ser Jaime.” 

“Hmm?” he said. “The perilous tale of our fight for survival during the long night war? The knighted warrior maiden and her somewhat golden knight, fighting at each other’s backs; keeping each other warm on the coldest nights.” He continued humming. 

Brienne could feel her face heat with his words, just as it did when she heard them earlier. Yes, they did keep each other warm during the coldest nights; even fought at each other’s backs, but Jaime—was not hers.

Jaime paused in his humming. “I can feel your blush all the way over here, My Lady.” 

Brienne’s face heated even more. “Oh, shut up.” She gently kicked her heels into her horses’ side and her horse began to go into a full gallop away from him. Her horse raced through the wooded path, the cool night air hitting her face and whipping her hair as she raced toward Casterly. She looked up as Jaime’s horse sped past her own and she grinned as she sped up her horse to catch him, the wind whipping her hair back as her horse caught up with Jaime’s at the Castle’s gate. 

They continued their race through the courtyard, only slowing down once they reached the stables  
Jaime turned his horse to face her, his grin wide. “I win again, Brienne.” 

Brienne opened her mouth to scold him but closed it as she caught his expression. He looked younger; his eyes were bright with boyish delight, and it was in that moment that Brienne realized Jaime was well and truly happy. She smiled indulgently at him, not bothering to hide her own happiness. “It was pure luck, my lord.” 

Jaime chuckled as they both hopped down from their horses. “I think it just means I am the better rider.”

Brienne didn’t respond, merely watched as he handed their reins to a sleepy stable boy. She followed Jaime into the castle, walking beside him as they quietly made their way to their quarters. They stopped in front of her door as they did nearly every night. Brienne turned to face him, her small smile shy as she said quietly. “Goodnight, Ser.” 

Jaime nodded. “Goodnight, Brienne. I shall see you on the morrow.” 

Brienne nodded. “Right before dawn?”

Jaime gave a put-upon sigh. “Of course, my lady. I will let you torture me once more.” He reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he did every night. “If you have—” 

“I know.” She cut in quietly, “I will.” 

Some nights, there were nightmares for them both. After the war was won, they’d both had been able to sleep like the dead; relief and exhaustion allowing their brains to shut off completely. The nightmares didn’t start until they’d returned to Casterly. The first night, Brienne’s screams had nearly woken the whole castle. Jaime had soothed her through it, staying vigil at her bedside because she would and have done the same for him. 

Relief settled in Jaime’s gaze as he nodded once. He squeezed her hand again and it was in that moment Brienne realized they were still holding hands. Her gaze slipped to their joined hands, her stomach fluttering in a very familiar way, followed by the flush on her cheeks. Her gaze returned to Jaime’s soft contented gaze and she sighed before slowly slipping her hand from his own. “Goodnight, Jaime.” She repeated quietly before slipping into her chambers. 

She shut her door quietly, leaning against it as she closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding, which wasn’t unusual. Sometimes Jaime looked at her as though—as though she were everything. The feelings she felt from such looks were indescribable, and it always brought back the memory of the night she would never forget. Before the last battle of the long night war, Jaime had kissed her. Brienne could remember the pure shock she had felt as his lips gently touched hers; remembered the way she had pulled away as the kiss had deepened. 

“I will never regret this.” Jaime had whispered into her ear before leaving her to her thoughts. Brienne had touched her lips in wonder afterward, feeling a fire so hot in her stomach, it continued to burn until this day. She fought her hardest that last night, and it was through some miracle they were able to pull through. 

Brienne moved away from the door and began to shed her clothes. They’d never revisited that kiss and Brienne never wondered why as it wasn’t a line of thinking she wanted to fall into; though she quite often wondered why he kissed her. Still, the fire burned, and the memories remained. 

She climbed into bed, laying back against the pillows with a small sigh as she continued to think of that kiss. She could still feel the soft touch of his lips against her own, the tickle and hard brush of his beard as he pressed his face closer against hers. Brienne shuddered and pressed both hands to her stomach. She didn’t know if she could go on this way; with this want. She slid onto her side, her thoughts turning on what she should do. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

‘Another day gone, another opportunity missed.’ Jaime sat in front of the fire with a weary sigh. He carefully slipped his boots off before leaning his head back against his chair, his thoughts on a certain yellow haired wench. He had nearly given himself away today, mooning over the maiden warrior like a green squire. He could not help himself. Brienne, as usual, was being her extraordinary self, and it took all the willpower Jaime had not to reveal his truly deep feelings for her. 

Jaime closed his eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Despite his strong desire to be with Brienne in such a way, he won’t go there. Brienne was everything to him, and he was content to simply have her in his life as his best friend; it is enough. 

“Is it truly?” His traitorous thoughts whispered. 

Jaime grimaced to himself. It would have to be. He returned his gaze toward the fire. It would have to be enough. Unbidden, his thoughts drifted to the night he grabbed his courage and kissed her. It was the night before the last battle; their numbers had been dwindling. He didn’t think they’d make it and he didn’t want to leave this world without a taste of her lips. It had been exquisite, and he could remember how shocked she had been by his actions; shocked yes, but not angry. 

After the kiss, they had survived and won the war. After the kiss, Brienne never changed the way they interacted with one another, and for those reasons he was grateful. They never discussed that kiss; another thing Jaime was glad of, for he could never tell her the depth of his feelings as it would destroy everything. 

Jaime has come to the very strong conclusion that Lannister love is a curse. It brought nothing but pain; true destruction, and it was not something he was willing to expose Brienne to. Shaking his sudden melancholy, he leaned forward to add another log to the fire, pausing in surprise from the sudden soft knock on his chamber door. Idly wondering who was disturbing him at this time of night, he crossed the short distance to his door and opened it. 

Brienne stood in his doorway, clad only in her shift with a blanket wrapped around her broad shoulders. 

Jaime swallowed thickly as Brienne moved into his chambers, stepping around him to sit on the edge of his bed. “Are you alright, my lady?”

Brienne nodded then shook her head. “I—” She trailed off and let the blanket around her shoulders drop behind her. “I do not wish to sleep alone.” She met his gaze squarely. “Do you?”

This was not something new. They had shared a bed or two; a pallet many times, but that was war. This is—he turned back to the fire, his eyes slipping closed as he answered her. “No. I do not.” 

Brienne nodded once and moved to slip underneath the covers. “Then come and lie with me.” 

___________________________________________________________________________

Brienne didn’t have the slightest idea of what she was doing, but she couldn’t lay alone any longer. Not while this—want persisted. She kept her mind carefully blank as she slipped out of her chambers and made her way to Jaime’s, pushing the self-doubt away and moving toward whatever it was on the other side of his chamber door. 

Jaime.

Brienne sighed as she lay back against his pillows, eyes closed. His familiar scent of sandalwood and leather surrounded her and brought her comfort. She opened her eyes with another soft sigh, eyeing Jaime, who still stood near the doorway. “Are you going to stand there like a statue all night?”

The jape seemed to reanimate Jaime and he huffed out a laugh as he shuffled to the empty side of the bed. He slipped in beside her, stiffly laying back against the pillows. They lay quietly for a few moments, listening to each other breathe as they had done so many nights. 

The longer the silence went on, the more Brienne felt her courage slipping. What was she doing exactly? Why had she come to this point? She started in surprise as Jaime’s hand suddenly grasped her own. They entwined their fingers, holding each other tightly. Brienne felt her courage return as she said quietly. “The night before the final battle, you kissed me.” 

“I did.” Jaime said. 

She didn’t look at him, continuing the stare at to ceiling above as she asked. “Why?”

Jaime was quiet for so long that she had thought he had fallen asleep. She squeezed his hand and he finally answered. “Because I couldn’t die without knowing how you would feel against me. How your lips felt against my own. I had to know.”

Brienne could feel the want flare once again and she shivered as she touched her stomach to calm it. “And now?” She asked, feeling distracted by the sudden caress of his thumb against the back of her hand. 

Jaime sighed heavily. “And now, my lady, that one taste has seemed to fuel a fire still burning.” 

The fire in her own belly increased ten-fold with his words. “I—I wish you would—I want to—” She trailed off with an embarrassed flush. “I cannot say the words.” She turned onto her side so she could see him, and Jaime did the same. They watched each other quietly for a few moments and Brienne let herself bask in his soft gaze. “What do you want from me, Jaime?”

______________________________________________________________________________

What did he want from her? He wanted to kiss her again; feel her lips and tongue against his own. He wanted to feel her warm skin against his own; hold her and never let go. He wanted his cock inside of her; wanted to see her expression as he pushed inside. He wanted to hear her moan his name. He wanted to see her belly swollen with his child; wanted to drape his cloak over her shoulders. He wanted to never let her go. “Everything.” He whispered fiercely, his mind screaming at him to stop speaking, but his heart forcing him to do otherwise. “I want everything, my lady.” 

“Everything?” She asked, her eyes riveted to his face. “Jaime—I don’t understand.” 

He was weak. He was weak when it came to the heart, and the way Brienne watched him with her trusting kind gaze had him speaking the truth he tried to keep hidden to her. “Brienne, I have loved you for so long. It took me for longer than I care to admit to realizing that fact.” He lifted his stump, running it down the side of her cheek. “Every day, watching the sun rise with you is a gift. Being in your presence steadies me in a way I’ve never felt in my very long life.” He swallowed nervously from her shocked expression. 

“You love me?” She asked quietly and he nodded. She closed her eyes and looked down. When she opened them again there were tears, spilling down her cheeks. She lifted her head as more tears spilled. 

Jaime wiped at her tears, his own eyes growing wet. “I love you.” He whispered again fiercely. “But we—we cannot be together.”  
____________________________________________________________________________

Brienne jerked away from him as if he struck her. She sat up, flinching away as he reached for her. “What—” She trailed off as the sting of his rejection coursed through her with his words. She tried to move even further away, meaning to slip out of his bed and out of his chambers, but his arm around her waist prevented her from doing so. How could he say that to her? How could he say he loves her then reject her after she came to him; open and vulnerable. “Jaime, let go of me.” 

Jaime merely tightened his hold, struggling against her need to get away. “Please, my lady, listen to me. I only say we can’t be together because—my love would burn you.” 

Brienne stilled in his arms as his explanation touched her ears. She turned in his embrace, gently pushing him away as she did. “What do you mean?”

Jaime looked down as he explained softly. “A Lannister loving someone—it’s a curse. It will only end in pain for you.” He shook his head. “I am not worthy of you, Brienne.” 

Oh. Brienne searched his gaze, a frown appearing on her mouth. Did he truly believe his words? She brought her hand up to his cheek. “Jaime,” she said softly, “that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” 

Jaime’s eyes widened as he opened his mouth in protest, but no words came out. 

Brienne continued quietly. “Have you considered the way you’ve loved me has been the right way? That all this time you have loved me fiercely, just as fiercely as I’ve loved you, and yet I still stand.” She frowned at him. “Do you think me naïve? Do you think I am not strong enough for the likes of you?”

Jaime shook his head vehemently. “No, my lady. You are the strongest person I know. Your innocence-“

“My innocence?” She cut in with a shake of her head. “Jaime, I am a woman grown.” 

He huffed out a laugh. “Yes, you are, but-” 

She grasped his hand in her own as she said her next words. “I know the man you were. The decisions you’ve made in the name of love. I also know who you are today; Right now. I accept both men.” 

Jaime’s hand tightened his hold on her own. “Brienne—” He breathed, tears springing to his eyes. 

Brienne wiped at her own tears as she continued. “We have been through much together. We have lost so much. Don’t you want to grab onto this and never let go?”

Jaime answered her with a press of his lips against her own. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Brienne gasped as his mouth touched her own; much in the same way the first time he kissed her. She clumsily returned his kiss, placing one hand on the nape of his neck, trying in vain to follow the push and retreat of his talented mouth. She startled and pulled away as she felt the firm brush of his tongue against her lips. 

She brought her hand toward her mouth as she stared at him. Jaime merely watched her patiently, his green eyes filled with clear desire for her. She wanted to ask him why he did such a thing but didn’t want to feel foolish with her ignorance. 

Jaime’s fingertips brushed against her bottom lip as he seemingly plucked the question from her mind. “I mean to taste the inside of your mouth, My lady. Brush my tongue against your own.” There was nothing teasing in his gaze nor in his tone. She felt the twist in her stomach unwind as she leaned forward, this time kissing him. 

She followed his lips more smoothly this time, catching on easily. She opened her mouth, granting his tongue entrance and….gods! She whimpered as their tongues touched, a very unfamiliar girlish sigh escaping her mouth as his arm tightened around her waist and pulled her closer. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Jaime groaned as her tongue slid tentatively against his own. It was more than he ever imagined. To feel Brienne against him solid and real, sighing against his mouth in a way that brings the sound straight toward his groin. She was a quick study, easily following and mirroring his movements. His hand caressed up her side, groaning again as her own hand suddenly buried itself into his hair. 

This was like no other kiss he has ever experienced. Passionate and full of desire yes, but not desperate. Things are never desperate with Brienne. He slid even closer, pressing fully against her with a moan as he felt the press of her heated body against his own. Her shift was thin, holding nothing to the imagination. He could feel the hard planes of her body, her small breasts pressed against him. He gasped as he felt the stinging bite of her teeth against his bottom lip. He pulled away from her, panting his eyes surprised. 

Brienne’s own eyes were wide with surprise from her own actions. 

She spoke quietly. “Did I--Was that wrong?”

Another pool of desire flooded Jaime from such an innocent question. “No, my lady. That was—” he trailed off and his eyes darkened. “That was perfect.” He breathed, kissing her again. 

__________________________________________________________________________

There it was again. That fire in her belly flaring up even more, pooling even lower. Needing to breathe, she pulled away first, meeting Jaime’s heavy gaze as the both fought to catch their breath. She sat up onto her knees and reached down, pulling her shift up and off her body. She watched as Jaime’s gaze slid down her form. She fought the urge to cover up, letting him look his feel before reaching for his hand. “Come here.” 

Jaime followed suit, moving onto his knees. Brienne leaned over for another hungry kiss, before helping him undress, pulling his shirt above his head before moving to untie his breeches before laying back against the furs. She watched as he slipped them off, tossing them to the side of the bed. Her gaze fell between his legs, her eyes widening slightly as she caught sight of his hardness. Her eyes slid back up his form, resting on his amused gaze. She flushed a deep shade of red as she poked him in the shin with her toe “Do not mock me.” 

Jaime lay beside her. “I wasn’t, I promise.” He reached out, his hand caressing cupping her breast as he leaned over for another kiss.

Brienne opened her mouth to his, moaning as he suckled on her tongue. She squirmed as his hand moved down her heated skin and between her legs. She spread her thighs wider without thought, pulling away from his mouth with a surprised cry as he slid his fingers into her wetness, sliding his thumb against the bundle of nerves there. “Ohh.” She breathed, her hips mindlessly moving against his fingers, her neck arching. Her vision whiting out as pleasure coiled through her. She didn’t know it could feel this way; this good. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

Jaime watched her enraptured with the knowledge that he’d put that expression on her face. A few more strokes of his thumb had her tensing as tight as a bowstring, her thighs clamping closed on his hand. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek as she trembled. He smiled as he nuzzled her throat, patiently waiting for her to catch her breath. “May I have my hand back, my lady.” 

Brienne’s eyes slipped open and released his hand. Jaime smiled as his hand caressed up her side. “Are you alright?” 

Unable to find her voice, she nodded. Jaime’s grin widened. “I’ve rendered you speechless, have I?”

She flushed a deep red. “Oh, shut up.” 

Jaime chuckled as he moved between her legs. He placed a kiss between her breast. “That, my lady, was one of many.” His lips moved further down, kissing down her stomach, stopping to kiss her belly button. He moved lower. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Brienne lifted her head to watch him. “What are you—” She trailed off with wide eyes ad his tongue touched her there. “Ohhh.” She uttered in surprise as his tongue suddenly made two long swipes against that tiny bundle of nerves. Her fingers immediately buried themselves into his hair as he continued to alternate between licking, sucking, and kissing. 

She whined and writhed underneath his mouth, tightening her hold on his hair nearly to the point of pain. Spasms wracked her frame as pleasure more intense than the first time tore through her. She shivered as Jaime continued to lick at her, gently pushing his head away with a quiet moan. 

She reached for him, pulling him up by his ears until his lips were against her own again, opening her mouth up to his greedy tongue, spreading her legs wider as his lips trailed down the side of her throat. Her hands caressed his hair, his shoulders, and down his back. 

“This is it, my lady.” He mumbled against her throat. He lifted his head. “No going back.” 

Brienne gave him an amused smile. “After all of that?”

“Well, I have much more to offer.” He said arrogantly. He slipped his hand down between them. 

“More?” Brienne teased. “What more could you—Ohh..” 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

 

Part 2

 

There is living.

 

Brienne sighed as the orange and purple hues from the sun rising slowly changed into bright orange. She sipped from her mulled wine, leaning against Jaime as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

 

“Another morning of torture.” He murmured through the quiet and she rolled her eyes.

 

“We’ve been doing this for a year, Jaime. You can stop pretending you don’t like it.”

 

“I do like it.” He admitted softly. He ran his nose up the side of her throat. “Though, aren’t you tired my lady? I mean—we have had so many late nights.”

 

Brienne flushed a deep red. They have had many late nights since their first night together.   “Jaime—” She mumbled.

 

Jaime chuckled and kissed her cheek. “Not that I’m complaining.  It has been quite extraordinary.” He kissed her cheek again, this time caressing his hand against her back in that way which communicated what he wanted.  

 

Brienne pulled away from his lips, raising an eyebrow as he leaned over for another kiss.  “We are not doing this on this cliff.”

 

Jaime frowned at her as he waved his hand. “But look at the scenery, my lady. The blue sky. The sun.”

 

“The jagged rocks.” She cut in.

 

Jaime frowned as he pointed behind them. “I’m sure there are some soft spots of grass over there.”

 

Brienne eyed his handsome features incredulously. “Jaime…” She trailed off as he cut her off with a kiss. Her mouth opened to his own, despite her protests. She sighed as his tongue flicked against her own. She pulled away and rested her forehead against his own. “Jaime.” She weakly protested.

 

He kissed her nose. “Brienne, this has never stopped us before. This is simply a bonus to all of the bonus places we’ve fucked around Casterly.” He kissed behind her ear. “The baths. The stables. The forest. Oh, my study. Remember the meeting with my advisors you interrupted?”

 

She flushed an even deeper shade of red. She did remember. She’d been taking a walk on the beach when she was struck with a sudden need to feel Jaime against her. She had burst into his study, their gaze meeting before he ordered his advisors to leave. She had ridden him in his chair before he fucked her to completion on his desk. That had been one of many moments where she approached him full of lust.   Brienne didn’t know what has come over her, but she has somehow become one of those insatiable creatures from Lys she had read about from one of her father’s secret scrolls.

 

Jaime didn’t seem to mind and seemed always willing and able to keep up with her appetite. She watched him, watching her, knowing he was seemingly reading her mind if the arrogant grin were anything to go by. Familiar desire curled its way around her belly.  Biting her lip, she stood and began to remove her cloak, watching as Jaime grinned and did the same.  

 

They both moved a few paces back from the cliff and lay their cloaks onto the small grassy area.  Jaime kneeled, pulling her down with him.  Their lips met in a soft kiss as she helped him out of his shirt.

 

“Gods this morning air is crisp.” He complained, hand and stump rubbing his arms.

 

Brienne removed her own shirt. “You wanted this.” She murmured, shivering as the morning air touched her skin.  “Besides we’ve been in colder environments.”

 

“I hated it then also.” He wrapped his arms about her, pulling her chest against his own. “You’ll keep me warm, won’t you wench?”

 

Instead of answering, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. Their lips met again; this second kiss hungrier than the first.  They shed the rest of their clothes quickly, boots and breeches. She pushed Jaime onto his back and straddled him. She leaned down for more kisses. Jaime licked inside her mouth, moaning as she stroked his cock to hardness.  His hand slipped to her waist as he slipped inside.

 

She rode him quickly, undulating her hips, moving backwards and forwards; around and around. Jaime matched her quick pace as he watched her transfixed as she suddenly arched back revealing herself to him. His hand caressed hp her stomach, squeezing her breast before slipping back down to rub the bundle of nerves there, drawing more wetness from her.

 

Brienne’s reaction was instantaneous, and she cried out loudly, her voice echoing around them.                                                                                                     

 

“Fuck!” Jaime groaned as her cunt tightened around him, thrusting upward as his climax quickly followed behind.

 

She slipped from his waist, grimacing as she felt his completion slip down her thighs. They weren’t careful. Most times they weren’t, but Brienne couldn’t bring herself to care. This was surprising. Reckless risk taking was usually something Jaime engaged in. She lay beside him, turning onto her side to cuddle up to him as he reached for her. Their legs tangled as Jaime leaned over for a kiss.

 

“Tyrion arrives today?” She asked and he nodded.

 

His hand moved up her side. “He should be here by noon according to his last message.” 

 

Brienne nodded. “It’ll be nice to see him again.”

 

Jaime nodded. “Yes. I’m sure he can’t wait to regal me about his new role.”

 

Brienne smiled. “I’m sure he just mostly wants to see his brother.” She kissed his chin. “You miss him.”

 

Jaime nodded. “I do, yes.”

 

Brienne smiled softly at him. She admired Jaime’s relationship with his brother, and they love they had for one another. She was glad they had one another. “Perhaps we should get ready for the day?”

 

Jaime nodded. “I do have a few pebbles sticking me in some rather interesting places.”

 

She shifted uncomfortably. The cloaks they’d laid on the grass had moved with their eager movements. Brienne could feel her own pebbles sticking her in very uncomfortable places.  She sat up and began to dress, glancing over her shoulder at Jaime who lay watching her. “You should dress.” She watched as he moved his arms behind his head, his eyes darkening.  “Truly?” She asked with amusement.

 

“What can I say, my wench, you simply inspire me.”

 

Before her logical side could kick in, she tossed her breeches back onto the grass and joined him. “Fine But you’re carrying the dirty cloaks back to the Castle.”

 

 

“Jaime I must say I’m very surprised Casterly Rock still stands,” Tyrion said with amusement, “with you becoming it’s Lord, I’d thought it would burn within a month’s time.”  

 

Jaime chuckled. “I’ve thought of burning it down during one or twelve land disputes.” He briefly glanced at Brienne as he said his next words. “I have been able to discover an easier way to tolerate the dry responsibilities of being Lord.”  He smiled to himself as he heard Brienne nearly choke on the wine she was drinking. He sat forward. “Are you alright, my lady?” His grin widened as he spotted the flush high on her cheeks.

 

Brienne stood from her chair with a polite smile. “I must retire.”

 

Tyrion raised an eyebrow as Jaime suddenly stood from his chair.

 

“So early?” Jaime asked and Brienne smiled softly at him.

 

“I have had a long day.” She answered back. She reached out and squeezed Tyrion’s shoulder. “Good night, Lord Tyrion. I’m glad you’ve visited.”

 

Tyrion raised his cup of wine. “The same, Ser Lady.”

 

Brienne turned to Jaime. “Goodnight, My lord.”

 

“Goodnight, my lady.”  He watched as she moved past him, brushing against his shoulder as she went. His gaze followed her all the way across the room toward the exit.  He turned back to Tyrion, flushing from the amused glint in his eyes. He cleared his throat as he took his seat again. “So. How does it feel to be king?”

 

Tyrion sighed. “For the last time I am not king. I am—”

 

“Leader of the council of the City Republic of King’s Landing.”  Jaime finished. He smirked. “You may want to think of shortening the name a bit.”  

 

Tyrion shrugged. “It has a ring to it. It’s catching. There is no more Iron Throne. It’s time to do something different for once.”

 

Jaime had nothing to say to that. He didn’t care what went on with the seven kingdoms so long as the people he loved and cared for were safe.

 

“Lady Brienne,” Tyrion started, “she is still quite tall.”

 

Jaime smiled at this. “She is.”

 

Tyrion nodded. “Also still not betrothed.  Which begs the question, why, exactly? It’s clear to me you two are fucking and judging by the smoldering looks you were giving each other during the evening meal you’ve been fucking quite a bit.”

 

Jaime shook his head. “Did you come all of this way to discuss my love life?”

 

“No.” Tyrion scoffed. He drank from his cup before speaking again. “Yes.”

 

Jaime rolled his eyes. “If this is about continuing the Lannister name—”

 

“This isn’t about that.” Tyrion cut in. “This is about—happiness. Grabbing it where you can, Jaime.  We won the war against the army of the dead. Life can be devastatingly short or terribly long. It’s time to hold onto the good things and never let go.”

 

Jaime frowned at him. “When did you get so poetic?”

 

Tyrion raised his cup again. “I’ve always been poetic. You’ve just always mistaken my poetry for drunkenness.”

 

“Oh, my mistake” Jaime said.

 

Both men were quiet for a long moment.

 

“I thought you were over this.” Tyrion said quietly. “This—self rejection.”

 

Jaime stayed quiet, instead opting to turn his gaze back to the fire.

 

Tyrion sighed with a shake of his head. “You deserve this Jaime. Stop punishing yourself.”

 

“I’m not even sure if she wants to marry me.” He said in response.

 

Tyrion raised an eyebrow. “Then why isn’t she in Tarth with her father?”

 

Jaime didn’t bother mentioning that they did return to Tarth, a short time after the war had ended. Brienne ended up having a disagreement with the EvenStar and demanded they set sail for Casterly a fortnight into their visit. She never told him what they argued about and he never asked. “I will think on your words.”

 

Tyrion lifted his cup. “Please do.” He sighed as he poured himself another cup. “I’ve not been drunk for so long and this is glorious.” He glanced pointedly at Jaime’s empty cup. “You’re going to let me drink, alone are you?”

 

Jaime chuckled as he stood up. “I do have words to think on.”

 

“Fine.” Tyrion said. “Go climb your tree of a woman. I’ll do what I’ll do best.”

 

Jaime smiled. “There’s the crudeness I’ve missed.” He leaned down and kissed Tyrion’s head. “Good night, dear brother.”

 

Tyrion nodded. “Yes. Goodnight. Please think about what I’ve said seriously.”

 

Jaime nodded. “Of course, I will.”

 

He made his way toward their chambers where he knew Brienne would be waiting for him. They had given up the pretense of sleeping in two separate quarters after their first night together. They’d had crossed nearly every line except the last one.  Living the life, he had lived, Jaime had never thought he would be anyone’s husband.  He had been okay with that fact; had even been proud of it.

 

He quietly closed the door, leaning down to place more logs on the fire. But now he has a new life.   He stood up and began to undress.  He moved toward his side of the bed and slipped in naked. He wrapped his arm around Brienne’s waist and pulled her closer, letting her comforting scent envelope him as he kissed her shoulder.

 

She turned onto her back, eyes blinking open slowly. 

 

Jaime smiled down at her as she gazed up at him with a sleepy gaze.  “Hi.”

 

“Hi.” She greeted back; voice raspy from sleep. She placed her hand onto his cheek, pressing her leg against his own.  “I must have fallen asleep.”

 

Jaime nodded mutely, taking his time to just watch her. Now he had a new life and the thought of becoming Brienne’s husband brought on a sense of pride and happiness he could barely fathom.  He placed his hand over the one she held against his cheek.

 

Brienne’s finger caressed his cheek as she blinked up at him sleepily. “What?”

 

“The day before we left Tarth for Casterly you’d had a disagreement with your father.”

 

Brienne nodded.

 

“About what?” He asked.

 

She sighed. “He was demanding I marry one of his advisors. I—I didn’t want to,” She trailed off with a shake of her head. “After all I’d been through.  I returned to him a Knight and all he could see was an unmarried daughter.” She shook her head with a scowl as if she were recounting the argument.

 

Jaime nodded in understanding. “Your freedom is important to you.” He said and she nodded. “Does that mean you do not wish to marry anyone?”

 

“I didn’t say that.” She corrected. “I—I believe I can still be who I am while married.” Her expression turned shy as she said her next words. “I’d like to marry a man who respects me. One who doesn’t demand I put down my sword.”

 

Jaime answered her with a deep kiss, his tongue brushing against her own. He pulled away with a sigh, watching her, his gaze soft.

 

“What is it?” She asked, flushing a deeper red. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Because he was happy; well and truly.  He had to bite back his proposal before he blurted it out. He kissed her hand again as his grin widened.  “You’re naked.”

 

Brienne blinked in surprise, relief feeling her gaze as she returned his smile. “So are you.”

 

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her neck, slipping his hand underneath the furs. “I would never ask or demand you give up your sword, My lady.” For some reason, he could not look at her as he said the words, but the implication was obvious.

 

He shivered as he felt Brienne’s nails rake gently through his hair, down his neck and across his shoulders.

 

“I know.” She whispered back.

 

88

 The next morning found Tyrion, Jaime, and Brienne on the cliffside, watching the sun rise.

 

“I cannot believe you two have me up at this awful hour.” Tyrion complained, sipping from his cup of mulled wine. He was half awake, a small blanket draped around his shoulders.

 

Jaime snorted as he took a sip from his own cup. “This is all Brienne’s doing. I wouldn’t dare.”

 

Brienne rolled her eyes at the two of them.  “Will you both be quiet.” She said, taking a sip from her own cup. “And Jaime I did not hold a knife to your throat every morning to force you up here.”

 

Jaime frowned. “You might as well have, My Lady. Oof!”

 

Brienne elbowed him in the side. “Do not mock me.” She said, gently rubbing the side she elbowed at his feigned expression of hurt. She kissed his cheek, meeting his surprised gaze with her own as she usually didn’t engage in public displays of affection.  She chanced a glance over at Tyrion who was watching them with amusement. She started in surprise as Jaime wrapped an arm around her waist.

 

“You two are disgusting.” Tyrion said gruffly.

 

Both brothers laughed and Brienne flushed as she lay her head on Jaime’s shoulder, hiding her red cheeks. “Oh.” She whispered as she sun began to rise, once again painting the sky in hues of red, pink, orange, and purple.  She wrapped her arm around Jaime’s waist.

 

“That is quite impressive.” Tyrion murmured.

 

“Yes.” Jaime whispered.

 

All three were quiet for a long moment, taking in the depth and beauty of the moment.

 

“Remember when we used to piss off of this cliff?” Tyrion asked, breaking the silence.

 

Jaime chuckled. “How could I forget. We would measure the length of our streams.”

 

Tyrion grinned. “And I always would win.”                  

 

Jaime shook his head. “A mystery unto itself.”

 

Tyrion snorted. “Not much of a mystery. You know why.”

 

Brienne frowned, finally taking interest in their ridiculous conversation. “Why?”

 

Jaime held up a finger. “Don’t.” He cut Tyrion off from his crude reply.

 

Tyrion closed his mouth chastened. “No reason, Ser Lady.”

 

88

 

“Well brother,” Jaime said as he leaned down to hug him. “It’s always a pleasure.”

 

Tyrion returned his hug tightly. “Yes.” He pulled away from him. “I do hope the next time I hear from you it’ll be a wedding announcement.” He grinned as Jaime stood up and moved beside Brienne. “Brienne, you’ve tamed a Lion.”

 

Brienne gave him a small smile as she answered. “Do you mean Jaime or yourself?”

 

Jaime raised an eyebrow as Tyrion’s mouth fell open in surprise.

 

“You hear that, brother? She may be full Lannister yet.” He climbed into the carriage and stuck his head out. “Until we meet again, love birds. Hopefully the next time I see you Brienne you’ll be my good-sister.” He waved one last time as the carriage took off.

 

Brienne watched the carriage cross through the city gates. “He’s not very subtle, is he?”

 

“No.” Jaime smiled. “Only when it comes to you though, my lady.” He kissed her, uncaring of the other castle inhabitants milling about.

 

Brienne touched her lips as he smiled at her. He has been doing this more as of late; Being so open in his affections with her. Brienne had a sneaking suspicion part of the reason he did this was to see the deep flush which always resulted in such actions. “A trait I see you share with him.”

 

Jaime’s smile widened as he wrapped his hand around her own. “Brienne, light of my heart—” He moved to one knee and Brienne’s eyes widened. “Ser Brienne of Tarth—”

 

“Jaime—” Brienne breathed, panic in her eyes.

 

Jaime stared up at her reverently. “Will you do me the honor of sparring with me?”

 

Brienne snatched her hand away. “Oh, piss off.” She muttered, walking away from him.

 

Jaime stood and hurried his steps in order to catch up to her. “I’m sorry, did you think—” He shook his head. “Forgive me, Ser lady.” He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek as they both made their way toward the training yard.

 

Brienne shoved him off. “You’re an ass.” Her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t sure if it was from fear from his near proposal or relief that it was a jape.

 

Undeterred Jaime moved in front of her to halt her progress. “I am an ass, yes.” He admitted. He kissed her cheek, his head tilting as he asked softly. “Am I an ass because it wasn’t real?”

 

Brienne moved around him. “You’ll know your answer when I’m knocking you into the dirt.”

 

 

“Three?” Jaime’s voice rumbled somewhere from the head of the bed.

 

They’d just finished making love for the second time that morning. Her body lay at the foot of the bed, long legs tangled with his own, the sheet barely covering their bottom halves. “Hmm?”

 

“Betrothals.” Jaime said.

 

Brienne frowned up at the ceiling. “What are you saying?”        

 

Jaime grasped her ankle in his hand as he began caress up her thigh. “I just remembered. You’d told me you were betrothed three times, but you never told me to whom.”

 

“Does it even matter?” She asked and he nodded.

 

“It matters to me.” He said softly. His hand continued its restless wandering, gently squeezing her foot when she didn’t answer. “Come on, wench.”

 

Brienne sighed and then began to tell the tale of Little Lord Caron, Ser Ronnet, and awful Ser Humphrey.

 

Jaime listened to each story intently, offering his own commentary here and there and quieting when Brienne asks if he wanted to tell the story since he seemed so keen on interrupting. “The first one. Lord Caron. Had he not died; you would be his wife to this very day.” He began to massage her foot one handed.

 

Brienne’s eyes fluttered closed and she sighed. “I suppose so.”

 

“Thank the gods for the chill.” He said before he could think, and Brienne nearly kicked him in the face from the shock of his words. 

 

“Jaime! That’s an awful thing to say.”

 

Jaime shrugged. “I can be awful from time to time, my lady.” He kissed her foot in apology. “Thank the gods for broken bones?”

 

Brienne smiled at that. “I would have never married Wagstaff.”

 

Jaime nodded. “From the way you described him, it sounds like he probably would have died before your father had finished walking you down to the front of the Sept.” He grinned when Brienne didn’t kick him. “Are you smiling, my lady?”

 

“No.” She lied.

 

“Liar.” He teased. His hand continued the caressing of her thigh. “And Connington? If he were never cruel to you would you have married him?” Brienne was quiet for a long moment and Jaime lifted his head. “Brienne?”

 

“This is a ridiculous line of questioning.” Brienne huffed with an annoyed tone.

 

Jaime nodded. “Yes, but a question you pointedly didn’t answer, my lady—” He trailed off waiting for an answer.

 

“I was younger,” She said softly. “I would have done my duty as heir to Tarth.”

 

Jaime nodded solemnly. He knew this to be true. He hated the idea of Brienne ending up with someone who would treat her with such cruelty.  He could tell the silence she had to have been thinking the same thing. “Hmm,” He said, breaking the silence. “Brienne Connington. It does have a nice ring to it.”

 

“Oh, shut up.” She muttered.

 

“I’m serious, my heart. Brienne Connington,” He sat up, “I’m picturing giant red headed children, towering over their father.”

 

“I’m going to kick you again.” She warned, watching as he suddenly crawled up her body, straddling her thighs. He grasped both her hands in his left one and raised her arms above her head. “What are you doing?”

 

Jaime stared down at her. “Good thing he was cruel enough to reject you.” He said quietly.

 

Brienne raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to be romantic?”

 

Jaime nodded. “Yes.”  He cried out in surprise as she suddenly bucked him off. He landed on his back, hand reaching out as she moved to pin him.

 

They wrestled each other for the next few minutes, both fighting for dominance. Jaime crowed as he ended up on top, his knees pining her arms down, using all his strength to hold her down and grinning as she struggled against him. he leaned forward, resting stump and hand on either side of her head, caging her in.

 

  “Do you yield?” He asked and she nodded. He released immediately moving knees to release her arms. They watched one another, both trying to catch their breath; eyes both alight excitement and desire.  “You deserve to be with someone who will worship you.” He said, continuing their earlier conversation.

 

Brienne glance away from him shyly. “I don’t wish to be worshipped.”  

 

Jaime placed his fingers underneath her chin and turned her gaze back to his own. “I know and that is precisely why you deserve to be worshipped.” He was hard, pressing insistently against her stomach. He rubbed himself against her and breathed her name.

 

Brienne slipped her hand between them, wrapping her hand around him.

 

Jaime rested his forehead against her own as she continued to stroke him. “I love you.” He whispered, pulling away to see her reaction.  They didn’t say the words often, but when they did it filled them both with such pleasure it shown through on their faces.

 

Brienne’s face transformed as she smiled brightly at him. “and I you.”

 

Their lips met in another kiss. This was perfect. This was bliss.

 

88

 

_Dearest Jaime,_

_I write this letter to tell you Cersei had been captured by Republic agents more than a fortnight ago. She has been privately tried; stripped of all title and fortune and banished from the City Republic.   I am sure you know where she will be headed. I urge you Jaime, when she arrives, please turn her away.  Do not sacrifice the happiness you have found for her. I beg you, do not fuck this up._

_With Love,_

_Tyrion_

Jaime read and re-read Tyrion’s message more than four times, a feeling of dread slowly filling him the more he read the letter.  Swallowing thickly, he placed the letter down and sat back in his chair, his thoughts turning. Cersei was coming and more than likely bringing all her treachery and beauty.

 

“Fuck.” He whispered harshly to himself.

 

TBC


End file.
